Radiation Will Be The Judge To Which You Will Testify

Posts tagged “love

Shining Strands

Girl with the shining strands,
brushing against my ego while comatose
saving my heart and dying hands
enslaving that spark and decrying my stance
holding me against you pining for parlance
this has been such a hard dance, until your hands wander
each second, deflecting a disjarred glance
time like sand slipping through hourglasses and powered fascists
turning me coward when i look beyond your eyelashes
my pride is captured, i want to take a ride on the adjacent sky
forsake lies and dissolve into your rapture
girl you could solve my stature, evolve the bastards
hugging walls like indignant plaster
the muscles in my ribs rip faster, pounding pounding
don’t know how long you’ll last,
girl with the shining strands
and eyes of blue glass
a pearl in a globe of swine, your every smile burns
concerned with only one emotion divine
you approached in stealth, but the grin gave you away,
I felt like a slave my hand why won’t you take
forever in my dreams, haunting me while I wear the screams
my patience worn thin from schemes,
girl with shining strands,
blind me once more,
take me through the threshhold and stroll  the corridor
I’ll forever extol your gloried lore 
just sore pleasure before my eyes re-open
Remembering all your words never spoken


Deficits

This path has become hinderance,
annoying in its futile persistence 
stomping ground, stomping ground
I am lost, maybe I don’t want to be found

An instinctual, innate rage believes its all my fault,
and it probably is…
only my perception of the illusion of reality
which has faded like an old textbook, forever forgotten in a field
which has, jaded me in a darkness that only begs for sunset
each voice attempts to drown out the silence and fails
if only because my brain refuses it passage

Every single thread of my genetic adventure is coming unravelled,
moving an inch seems too much travel
putting up with grinch just to experience the gallant
but her happiness was just a slick talent,
a sick talon slicing, skin torn
sick of the sounds, aural costs too priceless
when I first opened my mind, sin was born

And now it won’t close
And now they won’t stop
And now I won’t bear prose for naught

so caught, the sun god is so hot
wilting my skin as one of gods forgotten crops

lost with no one as savior


Heartburn

When she finally decides to throw me against a putrid gutter
I will have reaped what has been coming for years
Never did I feel that it belonged, two different puzzle pieces,
one, with razor sharp edges, which intersected and interjected the other, round and dull

My point of view barely extends beyond this second,
infinitely immersed in the only present visible
and all I can see is myself
cowering in a dark corner, where light cannot shower its contempt

I dive into a pool of my own thoughts, as always
remembering this was meant to be
I never deserved half an hour, much less a year
and now my faith dangles from the edge
and now my hatred spills across the floor into its own pool
forming my being

Soon, possibly sooner, I will finally reach that point,
where I always belonged, how it was always supposed to happen
sitting, again, alone, raped by my own self-composed silence
saturation in tacit lonliness
vapid voids which escape this
screaming defiance of truth

How much longer will this decrepit charade remain,
ignoring her heart and soul,
trying to exterminate my own in the process
leaving us both shattered

then, will I know true pain


Jaded Concealment

I can see her pictures, plastered across walls,
her soft eyes whispering a tome of lovers,
goading me to pick up phones and call

She has a knack for fashion,
but no reaction to sudden refractory bliss
still, she knows how to exact passion

Her bright hair gleams in the wind,
a testament to my own psyche
please forgive me, for I have sinned

I took a sip of holy ordained water
purloined fruit from trees in the garden,
losing her causes pain like osgood-slaughters

Shooting through the nerves in my knees,
made weak from the scourge of belief
Knowing fullwell she really deserves me

Don’t know whether her eyes are green,
or how she really feels about anarchistic desire
as long as she holds enough pride to preen

Petulant pastors revere at altars
parade faith as a walking of will,
immitating my lust in its’ refusal to falter

I can tell she has seen so many battles,
soul porous from oral bullets ripping through fabric
As I remain, an admirer, watching her beautifully gallop…..
                                                    Still riding with her head held high in the saddle


Intangible Sensibility

The goddess of Platinum hides behind curtains
masking her desires from the court
enclosing her heart from all that watch, encasing it within her halls of plywood

Although underneath her cutaneous layers, there lies a soul that thirsts for more
a voice that begs for passion
try as she might to diminish its volume

Her feelings not soluble in lakes of savages
still she holds to the vial, walking every mile
waiting for her knight to come for the ravaging

It is so much my style, waiting for her rescue,
debating whether late-night restricted phone calls are her begging
to be saved, or to deprave another

It might have been wasted, to drink from rivers
passion stemming from the flow like the hoover dam
if i could just move her hand,damn
wishing I could go back to when it rained
transacting my will to go on for a will from the past
at times i don’t know who’s out classed out
seeing pictures clearly because I never drink enough to pass out
and still feeling is brash
her image seared in my brain, her whisper to abstain

faint mystery
tainted clause
maybe someone just knows more of her sainted flaws
and i would even put up blatant calls

Her hair still shining in the spring
silently opining, trying to decipher what shes designing
running through mental waves dominating waiting for the temple slave
no whining, but why would I fail at realization
sometimes people are pushed to the point of zeal and I’m rationed

No longer can I congeal in such fashion
using passion as a tart crutch, but she knows i can fashion a rolled finely like i was 3 parts dutch

one gaze from her takes away
drawbacks of gravity chaining all as slaves,
she grants inertia to passive knaves
and her class would amaze

orbitals remain wide
even if she wants to break pride
or lake glide

she could entice
anyone to train ride…


Misunderstanding Lessons

Sitting alone in a room full of deep freeze
My perspective was destroyed, following the suit of normality
Every time my brain is left to wander,
ponder,
take me to where there is love, yonder
I attempt to avoid, but that path was laid in the past,
arguing about whether happiness’s hair is blonder
Questions always arise, gravity-enslaved balloons fighting, struggling to just fly
Who is the one who will bring my happiness, and forestall my demise
It would be disingenuous to believe, attempt to convince myself that,
love will form the grace of boomerangs
because it isn’t always a world of reciprocation
Laws of nature dictate total anarchical chaos
complete and utter discontinuation of continuity and order
Contraindications exist within us all,
and that which contradicts beauty, is beauty
Mutiso the Poet is correct;
“where imperfection is perfection”
That is nature, exactly
That is the only truth, so many fear to favor
Look to where dirt stains the sheets
Search for the used in markets
Those, that are broken,
are the only ones still whole
they are the ones, who remain with their souls
they face guns in battles,
debase shuns, for, we are chattel
We, unsightly and blind
Crying, begging, screaming and kicking to consume,
yearning to prove how much better you are
When labels are for fools,
Fable’s, fuel
not playing by the sabers rules
I know this is truth, because I live it
Devoid, and destroyed
trying to trick myself into happiness
all the while, knowing
I am more broken than those you deceptively demur

Questions that will never be answered

Some most depressing topics fail to leave,
bereave,
like thieves, stealing away what should be locked, deep
underground.
 
Questions that burn the lips it touches, and fail to alert the authorities of the foreboding blaze,
occurring in lockets and pockets, from the poorest executives, to the richest who live squalor and poverty
 
Why can’t she ever be mine?
 
 
Knowing that she might be taken rips and tears
Knowing that my future is forsaken, hurts
the same
Who can be blamed but myself, too lonely to walk the streets at night
not frightened of specters on the street, but of
ghosts that haunt above
 
Why do I drive away from her, on too frequent a basis,
wasting wasting wasting
it is her i wish to be tasting
 
wasting wasting wasted,
i wish my life could be “cut-and-pasted”
 
fuck this path, i see another filled with more passion,
no harassment,
no crassness and vapidity
if I had the chance, watch the rapidity, 
as i walk away from certain misery,
 
Why does this look so appalling from behind, cannot
clear away that damn fog,
life’s exhaust choking out into fragments, again,
 
Why don’t I stop this butchery,
like the lamb who I refuse to murder,
my stomach would rather starve,
downtown lanes cruising whips, on my Almost i’d rather carve,
I know you are not enamored by spars,
but miss,
I wish,
not just love trists,
wishing i could take you with me across the stars
 
Tear holes in space’s fabric, my lust for you is rabid,
and I wouldn’t have a loved one, if misogyny was my habit, 
 
Its like noodles I can’t stab, im using the wrong utensils,
why not just carve me out like plastic-human-hybrid stencils,
 
 
just take a pencil and start your note taking from here,
I know I could find happiness, if I tried,
if she cried,
 
an ode to the questions that will never be answered,
impossible to communicate over the fences,
expanse is dense,
and i’ll never get away taking my marching orders from fear
 
 
                                              If only the portal was near……….