Radiation Will Be The Judge To Which You Will Testify

Posts tagged “love poem

Day 3/Heartburn Reloaded

This is day 3, and while I have regained lost mental acuity, and calm
I have undergone the recurring problem of doubt, and hatred

She no longer gives thought, to my trials
She no longer cares, about my plight
Whether she ever did before, irrelevant
For the facts must be dealt with now

She said she was trying to stop talking,
while she talked more, like always
And claimed I was writing her novels

Here is my next novel to you, I call it: Brick Wall

For now that is what composes my heart,
my eyes wear blinders, where only your visage is absent
and the whole colorful world envelopes your empty space

I am a brick wall now, that you might forever regret
using your double-edged tongue to cut me lengthwise
and test my patience

How does it feel, running your hands along this mortar, where
my mouth once existed
do not you wish you could grasp the slender handle of a sledge hammer
break apart these walls, which your contemptuous hands dreamt of building
Now you may grumble in your own hostilities, loathing my attitude
Like I loathe your contemptuous being

Can you hear? The echoes?
Bouncing off my brick wall
Thank you for helping to build it

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Distorted Torsion

What recourse remains,
for a lover, long forgotten
shadowed in the subterranean

And what meaning,
does this dream hold?
A woman opening her arms
shooting warmth from her genetic pillars of ecstasy
refuting my girlfriends hoarse screams of contempt
your insulting tongue can cut no longer

Two weeks ago, you hid a blade in plain sight,
and attempted to shred my confidence, ruthless and sour
But I know inside your ego’s devoured

So while waking, conscious life colors this world in sunlight,
I bide my time, for another chance at real affection
From strange women in strange dreams,
making my brain scream to escape you,
and your vile, acidic words

I am approaching break point, and she refuses to stop this onslaught

Before, it might have been,
but now it will never be bittersweet,
when i escape your shackles


Black Rain

Outside, in the splendor of nature,
A black rain falls
splattering crowds
shattering doubt
calming my will to run

When the rain falls, as it covers ground,
it covers my face,
dark rain shrouds me in secrecy
hiding my facial display,
even though its plain to see

When the black rain drops hit,
it will delay her realization,
that I am not worth her spit

Don’t you waste more hours,
mistake your hate for love and spring flowers
I won’t sing proud, this rain proves your flake
it proves my worth, or lack thereof

She waits around for me at a corner,
never knowing what folly awaits,
all that transpired,
mired and forgotten

Dare you to spit another insult,
cut into my vein like you wish you could
sometimes I wish you would
make that mistake

Giving us what we both want:
escapism, putting off the inevitable
warm friendly breath to protect from this downpour

But unlike you, this storm has been my home,
I refuse to leave it


Visitation/Gift from beyond the Void

Last night, under cover of nightfall, induced by a spell of slumber,
An old friend appeared from beyond the void

His body covered in fur, different colors and patterns jump across each strand, bobcat in one stretch, siamese in another

Lying on a carpeted floor, slothlike-his favorite attribute, it was all I had ever asked from him before

After 6 hours, I still feel blessed by his prescence during the night,
when dreams span across subconscious plains
cannot always keep up with each changing frame
and while he’s been resting in peace, he holds no spite

I even saw him crack a smile, as he rolled onto his back, arched and begging for affection

I pray you see your dead friend in a dream sometime,
putting this gift of life into perspective,
while knowing they all await, shrouded in the void,
which only dreams illuminate,
even for a single, fleeting second

do not be a stranger….


Deficits

This path has become hinderance,
annoying in its futile persistence 
stomping ground, stomping ground
I am lost, maybe I don’t want to be found

An instinctual, innate rage believes its all my fault,
and it probably is…
only my perception of the illusion of reality
which has faded like an old textbook, forever forgotten in a field
which has, jaded me in a darkness that only begs for sunset
each voice attempts to drown out the silence and fails
if only because my brain refuses it passage

Every single thread of my genetic adventure is coming unravelled,
moving an inch seems too much travel
putting up with grinch just to experience the gallant
but her happiness was just a slick talent,
a sick talon slicing, skin torn
sick of the sounds, aural costs too priceless
when I first opened my mind, sin was born

And now it won’t close
And now they won’t stop
And now I won’t bear prose for naught

so caught, the sun god is so hot
wilting my skin as one of gods forgotten crops

lost with no one as savior


Heartburn

When she finally decides to throw me against a putrid gutter
I will have reaped what has been coming for years
Never did I feel that it belonged, two different puzzle pieces,
one, with razor sharp edges, which intersected and interjected the other, round and dull

My point of view barely extends beyond this second,
infinitely immersed in the only present visible
and all I can see is myself
cowering in a dark corner, where light cannot shower its contempt

I dive into a pool of my own thoughts, as always
remembering this was meant to be
I never deserved half an hour, much less a year
and now my faith dangles from the edge
and now my hatred spills across the floor into its own pool
forming my being

Soon, possibly sooner, I will finally reach that point,
where I always belonged, how it was always supposed to happen
sitting, again, alone, raped by my own self-composed silence
saturation in tacit lonliness
vapid voids which escape this
screaming defiance of truth

How much longer will this decrepit charade remain,
ignoring her heart and soul,
trying to exterminate my own in the process
leaving us both shattered

then, will I know true pain


REM rebound

It happened as I walked across an unfamiliar neighborhood,
shrouded in a sense of mystery
unknowing what was around the corner, and she appeared

She was shorter, with dark  hair, and appeared to be chiseled from
diamonds
Her eyes spoke to me in glittering seduction
Her mouth shouted arrows that flowed through my inner being

She knew what I had been through, and didn’t care
She knew what I had seen, and asked me to keep looking

Her specter now haunts my brain,
facing me with a most impossible task,
to challenge it all
to spit in the face of,
whatever you call what happens around you

My grey matter boils under a heat only she can exude
she somehow reconfigured her neural pathways,
to set my mind on my fire
and terrorize my cardiac rhythm

Her affection has saturated my soul

How the fuck can unconscious vision so twist my belief
in everything

I am lost without whoever you are
And,
when I find you,
I will seize that, in one futile, fruitless attempt
to conclude the undefinable goal

Or just saturate my being in your aura , and disappear into tactile evaporation